My Journey

After 30 years being a christian I acknowledged that obviously there was something wrong. Christianity basically did not work, churches were a far cry from the ideal, and there remained too many unanswered questions about the bible. I never had looked at the bible and christianity in a negative way to see their failings but I figured if god was all about truth and honesty then he wouldn't mind if I took a peek. Then I received a book from a former client of my electromedicine business that pointed out some of the bible discrepancies, especially the glaring ones in the book of Matthew. Now I could see that the supposedly "inerrant book from God" had plenty of errors and was only a book by men. With the bible then defrocked all that remained was to discover the true history of the bible and religion to see its evolution in order to understand it completely. There were sufficient books in the library to help me with that task. What I found was a sad story and I discovered my own frailty that explained how I could have devoted my life to a set of ideas without having first evaluated them from both sides (innocently and skeptically). It is a humbling experience to admit one has been basically wrong for 30 years. I wish I could apologize personally to all the people I had pressured to believe the same religious stuff I had. Then I toyed with being an atheist but that didn't set right. I still believed there had to of been some mystical force that caused plants and animals to emerge from soil and water, and that evolved them to the present state of being. That is because they all use DNA as a reproductive code. Well, a code is something that only can be produced by intelligence, not the first group of amino acids bundled together hap-hazardly. Also each cell has to be programmed how to make use of an intelligent code. In my logical mind there is no way in the world that living beings came to be without some outside help. So now my personal belief is that an all pervasive (not just confined within living beings) "life" fills the role of that mystical force. We still do not understand what life is really. We see and can test the results of life but don't know what it is. Life, I believe, is what encouraged the assembly of elements and amino acids to become a "living" organism with a reproductive code. And it was Life that guided the continual improvement of organisms in a process that we now call evolution. Life created and life perfected all living species. Life is "God" (the creator), and God is Life. God is not a man in the sky. God is in us and all around us, possibly permeating all the space in the universe also. It is Life that survives the cycles of expansion and contraction of all the universe. It is Life that brings forth new organisms so many billions of years after each "big bang". What we have been searching for has been in us and all around us all the time. I don't think this is a new idea though. I believe the ancient Earth religions that monotheistic religions wiped out had the same basic idea. Hopefully the religions of the past will become the religions of the future and the mystery of life will once again be revered. There is little hope for mankind as long as the modern anti-nature religions continue.